Daddy Shinigami!
by Light-sweet-dreaming
Summary: Ah... the title sucks. Anyway what happens when Tatsumi and the gang decide to adopt a child?
1. The Crisis and the Solution

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei.  
  
Daddy Shinigami! (Somebody give me a decent title!!!!!!!)  
  
Those who must die go to the land of the dead, "Meifu". THERE IS AN ORGANIZATION HERE WHICH JUDGES THE SOULS OF THE DEAD-"Juocho". IN THE CENTER OF THAT IS [ENMACHO], HEADED BY THE LORD OF HELL [ENMADAIOH]. IT'S MEIFU'S LARGEST CHO. THOSE WHO WORK IN THE ENMACHO SHOKAN BUREAU ARE CALLED "SHINIGAMI".  
  
Author: (rereads the start of the fic) I just had to start it that way... (sweatdrops) If anyone understands whatever I wrote here, please explain it to me. I just copied that from a manga scan that I got from sakura- crisis.net! Nyahahahaha!!! (cough, cough) Now for the story itself...  
  
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The story won't come out of my head... please wait a while as I hit it (my head) on the nearest wall. (bangs head on wall) Ouch! There! Now for the story itself... (Ooh... look at the pretty stars...)  
  
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Once upon a time in an underworld far far away (unless you're in Japan), there lived four gorgeous but (unfortunately for the non-yaoi loving ladies) gay shinigamis who are currently having (much to Tatsumi's dismay) a huge money problem mainly due to Tsuzuki's excessive eating and Watari's lab experiments blowing up all over the place, causing a hell lot of damage. So, Tatsumi decided to have a meeting to help solve this problem. Because Watari had been playing with chemicals (kids, don't do that at home) while waiting for his other friends to come (Hisoka and Tsuzuki), the meeting room had a nice view of the world outside i.e. a large hole on the wall.  
  
While Watari was wiping his face clean with his sleeve and Tatsumi was already adding up the cost of repairs for all the things Watari blew-up, shrunk, vaporized, etc, Hisoka came in. He took a seat and started to read.  
  
An hour later, Tatsumi was now shaking his head in dismay because their total expenses are way over the top, Hisoka was still reading and Watari gave the room another wonderful view... there was now a hole on the floor and you could see who's in the men's bathroom. Unfortunately due to the hole in the roof and the need for censorship so that the author won't be known as a pervert, no one seems to be entering the bathroom.  
  
Oh, wait, the bathroom door is opening. Who's the unlucky victim who's going to be exposed? Why it's Tsuzuki! He sure looks sick, must have been that wasabi sauce he added to his Cinnapon rolls. (And we all thought that he had an iron stomach... tsk, tsk, tsk...) He opens the door to a cubicle, unzips his pants, sits down on the toilet bowl and.. err... contemplates...  
  
"Hey, look! It's Tsuzuki!" announced Watari to his companions. He then stuck his had in hole on the floor (the ceiling if you're in the men's bathroom), his trusty owl circling around him. "Hi, Tsuzuki!" he greeted with a cheery grin that no one in the right mind would give a person who is currently constipating contemplating.  
  
"ACK!" screamed Tsuzuki. "Watari! What are you doing here?!" He looked up to see Tatsumi raise an eyebrow at him and an enraged Hisoka ready to hurl a chair at him. Tsuzuki sweatdropped and waved shyly. "Err... guys, would you mind looking away for a while so I could finish what I was doing and go?"  
  
Okay, let's be kind to poor Tsuzuki and look away for a while, shall we? There... all done. Tsuzuki then ran to the room and opened the door. "I'm really sorry! I'm late again!" he announced. He quickly took a seat and made a thousand more sorries.  
  
"There's some tissue paper stuck to your shoe..." Hisoka commented. Tsuzuki pouted, peeled the tissue paper from his shoe and threw it in the trash.  
  
"Ehem... let's get down to business, shall we?" said Tatsumi as he stood up and started to explain their current situation. Because this is a really long explanation which needed a lot of visual aids, graphs and statistics, we'll skip the boring part and just go straight to the meat of the subject. Their division is currently having a large deficit because... "...of Watari and Tsuzuki," Tatsumi concluded.  
  
Tsuzuki sprouted his usual doggy-ears and asked innocently, "Who, me?" Watari was too busy concocting another scientific marvel to notice.  
  
"Baka," Hisoka mumbled. "It's because you eat too much."  
  
"I do not!" argued Tsuzuki.  
  
"Do too!"  
  
"Do not!"  
  
"Do too!"  
  
"Do not!"  
  
"Do too!"  
  
"Do not! Do not! Do not!"  
  
Now this childish argument could go on for hours if the two weren't distracted by a blast. Looks like Watari just succeeded in giving them a wonderful view of the sky. Watari smiled sheepishly and hid from Tatsumi's I'd-kill-you-if-only-you-weren't-dead-yet glare.  
  
"So, what are we supposed to do about our money problem?" asked Hisoka, returning to the original topic of this meeting.  
  
"Ooh! Ooh!" Watari raised a hand and waved it wildly. "I could sell some of my inventions!"  
  
"NO!" screamed the three in unison.  
  
"Why not?" Watari asked.  
  
"No one would buy devices that has no sense of style at all," Tatsumi explained. "Plus some of your inventions and concoctions could endanger the general public."  
  
"A bake sale!" suggested Tsuzuki. "A bake sale!"  
  
"You're just going to eat up everything!" shouted Hisoka.  
  
"Will not!" argued Tsuzuki.  
  
"Will too!"  
  
"Will not!"  
  
"Will too!"  
  
Tatsumi decided to stop this before this fic gets too long just because of a lovers' quarrel. "People, settle down!" he shouted. Hisoka and Tsuzuki continued on fighting. "Settle down before I single-handedly solve this problem by not giving you your wages for the whole year!" he threatened. That got them all to shut up.  
  
"Good," he continued. "I found out an easy way for us to raise money and that is by-"  
  
"Selling our services as prostitutes?" asked Tsuzuki.  
  
Everyone stared at him. Hisoka blushed beet red. "Baka! Where did that idea come from?!"  
  
"I dunno," Tsuzuki answered. "The author wanted someone to say that line and picked me to do it. Blame her."  
  
"Stupid author..." mumbled Hisoka. (Hello! I'm the author! Lalalalalalala!!!)  
  
"No Tsuzuki," Tatsumi said. "I didn't mean that, although you're welcome to earn money that way if you want too." Tsuzuki shook his head wildly. "Good. I was planning for us to adopt a child."  
  
"WHAT?!" Tsuzuki exclaimed, blushing. Hisoka pretended that he didn't hear anything. Watari's new concoction blew up on his face.  
  
"I meant that the four of us will adopt a child," said Tatsumi, much to Hisoka's relief. "The government has now issued a law that those who adopt a child will get a monthly allowance."  
  
Now the other three could have argued with their beloved secretary that taking care of a child is serious business and they might not be able to provide a healthy environment for the child but then what's the point of me writing this fic if they won't adopt a child? So they decided to adopt a child.  
  
TBC 


	2. Welcome Miyama!

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei  
  
Daddy Shinigami!!!  
  
Naturally, these four guys couldn't raise a child in the underworld, right? So they rented a house on the good-old human world. Each had their own rooms. Plus, Tatsumi had his study room/private office, Hisoka had a training room, Watari converted the basement into his laboratory, and everyone was satisfied. Now all that's left is for them to see their new err... daughter.  
  
A bus stopped in front of the house. The door opened and an old nun kicked a little roguish child out of the bus. The child landed on her butt on the cold pavement. After exchanging a few words of affection with the nun ("toot! you!" "toot! you too!" "Toot!" "Toot! yourself, you old toot!!") she stuck her tongue out at the nun. The nun retorted by hurling the child's bag at her face, slamming the bus door shut and yelling at the driver to go very far away from this place and fast.  
  
The bus had already left but the child just sat there without doing anything. Then she grinned, jumped up and screamed "I'm free! I'm free! No more old nun! No more stinky brats, cramped spaces and disgusting orphanage food! Yey!" as she ran around the front lawn. And she would have been free to run away from the house of shinigamis too (as she was planning to do so) if Tatsumi hadn't stepped outside, grabbed her by her shirt collar and brought her inside the house.  
  
"Hey! Let go of me!" the child screamed as she tried to kick Tatsumi. "Let go of me, you old fag!" Tatsumi then dropped her on the floor and whistled. Watari, Tsuzuki and Hisoka came rushing out of their rooms (well, actually, Hisoka was with Tsuzuki in his room...) to meet the newest addition to their "family".  
  
"Guys," Tatsumi started. "I would like you to meet Miyama. Miyama, I'm Tatsumi Seiichiro and these are Yutaka, Asato and Hisoka. You're going to live with us now."  
  
"Hi Miyama!" greeted Tsuzuki. Watari flashed her a large smile and Hisoka gave her his usual sinister look.  
  
"Okay," said Miyama. "Which one of you guys is supposed to be my dad?"  
  
"Technically, that would be me, since I signed the adoption papers," Tatsumi answered.  
  
"DADDY!" Miyama screamed as she flung herself at Tatsumi's neck. "And who are those guys, Daddy?" she asked, pointing to the other three.  
  
"Those are your uncles," Tatsumi answered.  
  
"They're my uncles?" Miyama let go of Tatsumi and stared at the three guys. "That's funny, you guys don't look like brothers... Are you sure you guys are brothers?"  
  
"Err... well..." Tsuzuki racked his mind to look for a decent fib to tell the kid. "You see..."  
  
Miyama walked up to Hisoka. "Is this bug-eyed freak my uncle too?" Tsuzuki snickered when he heard this comment.  
  
"What the-"Hisoka exclaimed. "You little brat!"  
  
She stuck her tongue out at him. "Bug-eyed freak. You're already old but you have the eyes of a little girl!"  
  
Now Hisoka was really pissed-off by this comment. Luckily for Miyama, Tatsumi changed the subject to save her from being strangled by an angsty bug-eyed teenager. "Well, let's talk about that later, Mi-chan," he said. "Now go to your room, just climb to the stairs to your left..."  
  
"My room is the attic?" Miyama asked skeptically.  
  
"Yes, well... we're still going to renovate that," continued Tatsumi. "Go unpack your things, call us if you need anything. We'll be preparing lunch here downstairs."  
  
"Okay, Dad!" Miyama said. She took her bag and ran up stairs. "See you later, alligators!" She stuck her tongue at the guys, opened the trap door to the attic, got in and slammed it shut.  
  
  
  
Looks like Miyama made quite an impression with our four shinigamis. They were talking about her in the kitchen while she was unpacking her things.  
  
"She is the rudest brat I've ever seen!" said Hisoka.  
  
Tsuzuki laughed. "Now you know how I felt when I first met you," he said, which made Hisoka pout.  
  
"I'm just curious, Tatsumi. Why did you chose to adopt her?" asked Watari.  
  
"Well," said Tatsumi. "She seemed very well-behaved in the orphanage. And besides..."  
  
"The nun won't let him adopt a male child," said a small voice from the doorway.  
  
"Miyama!"  
  
Miyama smiled at them. She changed into a cleaner shirt and shorts and her black hair was covered by a small red cap. "Yo!" she greeted as she sat on the empty seat beside Watari. "Hehehe... am I right about what I said, Dad?" she asked mischievously.  
  
"Ehem, well, I was planning to adopt a boy because we are all boys here..." explained Tatsumi.  
  
"The nun gave me to you guys because she said that you guys were gay and that if I were a boy I might just get molested," she said very innocently. Tatsumi started to cough. Hisoka blushed bright red, Tsuzuki cut himself with a kitchen knife, Watari almost dropped a test tube and 003 started to panic. Miyama laughed at the guys' expressions and added, "Or maybe not. The nun was probably just itching to get rid of me."  
  
The guys let out a heavy sigh. Tatsumi drank a glass of water and was about to talk to Miyama about the "rumor" that they were all gay when Tsuzuki said the dreaded words.  
  
"Guys! Lunch is ready! I cooked my famous curry!" Hisoka, Tatsumi and Watari stared at Tsuzuki with fear in their eyes as they pondered what to do. It's a known fact that Tsuzuki's curry tastes absolutely horrible, and none of them wanted to eat it.  
  
Tatsumi stood up, cleaned his glasses and walked out of the door.  
  
"Hey! Where are you going?" Tsuzuki asked.  
  
"I have a business appointment today," he said. "Bye!" He then ran as fast as he can out of the room.  
  
Watari stood up next. He combed his hair with his fingers and smiled at Tsuzuki. "Well, I'm off to find a job. I've got to help this family too, right?"  
  
"But wait! You could find a job-"Too late, Watari ran out of the room before Tsuzuki finished his sentence. "-later..." Tsuzuki sighed. "What about you, Hisoka? Hisoka?"  
  
"He ran out of the room with Uncle Yu," Miyama explained.  
  
"Oh well," said Tsuzuki with a smile. "I guess that means more curry for us, then."  
  
Miyama stared at the red semi-solid goop that Tsuzuki called "curry". She gulped. "I don't feel so good," she mumbled.  
  
"Did you say anything?" asked Tsuzuki. "Come on, eat some curry while it's still hot."  
  
"No," was the child's firm reply.  
  
"How come? It's really delicious." Tsuzuki got a spoonful of "curry" and pointed it at Miyama's mouth. "Try it!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Come on," Tsuzuki persuaded. "Don't you want to become big and strong like your Uncle Tsuzuki? Now eat up."  
  
"NO!"  
  
"Here comes the plane!!!!" shouted Tsuzuki, playing with the spoon as if it was a toy airplane. "Open wide, it has to go to the airport! ENNNNGGGGGG!!!!!"  
  
"You look really stupid..." Miyama mumbled.  
  
"Is that so..." said an exasperated and very super deformed Tsuzuki. "Why won't you just save us all the trouble and eat already?"  
  
"No. The author won't like it." (Nyihihihihi!!!)  
  
"Puh-leese!!!" pleaded Tsuzuki with his standard puppy-dog ears.  
  
"No! No no no no no no NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Miyama kicked the one of the table's legs and pouted. "I won't eat," she said stubbornly.  
  
"Fine, then," said Tsuzuki, giving a very childish pout. "Don't eat. See if I care. Kids these days... mumble mumble mumble"  
  
"Yey!" Miyama jumped off her seat, and after sticking her tongue out at Tsuzuki, ran out of the room.  
  
Tsuzuki sighed. "She'll come back when she's hungry," he muttered. So he stood up, took the bowl of curry and placed it in the refrigerator. He had just closed the refrigerator door when he heard the child squeal.  
  
"Wow! CANDY!!!"  
  
"Miyama, no!!!" Tsuzuki quickly pulled off his apron and rushed out of the kitchen.  
  
TBC 


	3. A Rush of Sugar to the Brain

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei.  
  
Daddy Shinigami!!!  
  
CRASH! BANG! BOOM!!!! "WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" "MIYAMA-CHAN, STOP THAT!!!! AAA! THE VASE! THE VASE!!!" CRASH!  
Watari placed his hand on the door knob and looked at Tatsumi and Hisoka who were standing behind him. "Are you sure it's safe to go in now?" Tatsumi nodded silently.  
"Are you guys really sure it's safe?" Watari asked again.  
"Yes, Yutaka," Tatsumi said impatiently. (Due to the currnet circumstances, they are forced to call each other by their first names.... or else Miyama will suspect something.)  
CRASH!!! "WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!" "MI-CHAN, PLEASE, STOP!!!" "NO WAY, THIS IS FUN!!! WHEEEEEEEE!!!!!"  
"Are you honestly, positively sure that it's safe?" Watari took his hand off the door knob and started to go into thinking mode.  
Hisoka sighed. This was getting no where. He opened the door and...  
"YAHOO!" Miyama screamed. She was running around the living room, then jumping on the sofa, then sliding down the stairs, hell! She was everywhere in the span of one minute! Poor Tsuzuki was already lying by the side of the sofa, very exhausted.  
Hisoka came in as if nothing was wrong here. Tatsumi followed calmly and Watari was behind him, examining the damage in the room. As soon as Tsuzuki saw his friends, he sprouted doggy-ears and ran towards Hisoka. "She ate all my candy," he whimpered.  
Hisoka stared at Tsuzuki weirdly, turned his back on him, and started to go to his own room. Tsuzuki then turned to Tatsumi. "Seiichirou..." he whimpered in an even more pathetic (and annoying) manner. Tatsumi patted Tsuzuki at the back and smiled. This made a very jealous Hisoka stop, cross his arms, and face Tsuzuki again. As for Miyama...  
"Owl!" she yelled as she saw 003. "Owl! Owl! Owl!" She started to chase 003 around the room. The aforementioned owl, who was surprised when Miyama started dash towards her, left a wonderful little greenish-white mess on the rug.  
"Don't worry, Asato," Watari said while cleaning his glasses. "What comes up must come down. Miyama's just probably experiencing a sugar rush. She'll fall asleep sooner or later."  
"She's been like that for three hours already..." said Tsuzuki.  
"Well then, it might be sooner than we think." Watari laughed. "Miyama-chan," he called. "Please stop chasing 003 around, it's just going to make both of you tired." 003 hid behind her master, with Miyama chasing after it. They ran circles around Watari, the owl trying to escape Miyama and Miyama having a blast in stressing the bird. "And it's making me very dizzy..." Watari added, his eyes turning into little black spirals.  
003, finally realizing that she can't hide behind his master, changed his direction and soared towards Hisoka. Miyama ran top speed towards 003, tripped on her shoelaces and, to prevent herself from falling, managed to grab Hisoka's hand.  
"Oh no," Tsuzuki mumbled, finally standing up from his crouching position and looking very worried. Tatsumi shook his head while Watari was too busy comforting poor 003 to notice. Anyway, it only took seconds for Miyama's feeling of hyperactivity to seep into Hisoka with his empathic powers...  
"YOU BRAT!!!" screamed Hisoka as he lunged at Miyama. "You touched me and now I'm hyperactive like you!"  
"AIEEEE!!!!" Miyama screamed as Hisoka chased her around the room. "The bug-eyed monster is going to kill me! Help!"  
"That's not all I'm gonna do once I lay my hands on you!" screamed Hisoka. (Naughty, naughty Hisoka... author gets whacked Ow! I didn't mean naughty in that way, you pervs!)  
More crashes, bangs and booms can be heard in the house as a thousand more things were broken by the two hyperactive kids. (Okay, technically, Hisoka isn't a kid anymore, unless you're older than him, which I am not...) Tatsumi went to his room to get his notebook so that he can add up all the damage cost because of this hyperactivity. Watari remembered that he had a automatic-gluing-machine that he wanted to test out, so he went inside his lab. So poor Tsuzuki was left not only with one hyperactive kid, but two!  
"HELP! The bug-eyed monster is out to get me!"  
"Shut up! I am not a bug-eyed monster, you... you... spider-haired twerp!"  
CRASH! BANG! BOOM! Now was definitely not a safe day to be in the house of the shinigamis.  
  
  
  
Two hours and twenty-six minutes later, the insulin in Miyama's and Hisoka's bodies finally took effect and made them fall into a very deep sleep. Hisoka's head was resting on Tsuzuki's shoulder and Miyama's head was on Hisoka's lap.  
"You know what," Watari said. "They're pretty cute when they're asleep."  
"Only when they're asleep..." said Tsuzuki, shaking his head.  
"Tsuzuki, you idiot..." Hisoka mumbled in his sleep. Miyama opened her eyes briefly, stared at the world in front of her for a split-second and went back to sleep.  
"Oh my, looks like they heard you, Tsuzuki..." Watari said.  
"Damn that empathic powers of his!" said Tsuzuki. "Why does he have to sense things even when he's asleep? As for Miyama... well..."  
Tatsumi put down the book he was reading. "Children are much more sensitive to other people's feelings than adults."  
Tsuzuki peered at the book Tatsumi was reading. "Child-raising For Idiots," he read from the title page. "But Tatsumi, why are you reading this?" (Err... because he's an idiot? smile)  
"We can't have Miyama destroying more things," Tatsumi said with determination. "Oh, and I also found out that the government doesn't pay enough to those taking care of children so we're still in a big deficit." Tsuzuki and Watari sweatdropped. "The stupid author gave me temporary stupidity so that I won't notice that fact earlier," Tatsumi added, while pushing his glasses up his nose.  
"Oh yeah! I just remembered!" Watari announced. "I want to show you my newest invention! It's called the Super-Gluer-2X3!!!" He took out a white box... a plain looking white box with a tube on top and a door on the back.  
"As usual," Tatsumi sighed. "No sense of style at all..."  
"What's that?" asked Tsuzuki, with little squiggly yellow question marks dancing around his head.  
"Watch and be amazed as this machine puts back together this broken vase!" Watari shouted triumphantly as he got the pieces of a broken vase and threw it into the tube on top of the Super-Gluer-2X3. He pressed a button and continued to praise his work as the machine shook and whirred (and coughed worse than a tuberculosis inflicted person). "No more time wasted on putting back together those broken glass wares! No more brain- wracking puzzle solving! A must have for parents with hyperactive children!" The machine stopped jerking like an epileptic. "All done!" Watari said. He opened the machine's door and took out something... err... something that was... well, whatever it was it didn't look like a vase.  
"Watari?" asked Tsuzuki, pointing at the vase-shard thing. "What's that?"  
"This?" Watari asked back. "Isn't it obvious? It's a vase!" Tsuzuki and Tatsumi sweatdropped. "See," said Watari, pointing to various parts of the so-called 'vase'. "This is where you put the water, and this is where the flower stands. Cute, isn't it?" The sweatdrops hanging from Tsuzuki and Tatsumi's heads grew bigger.  
Now to save Watari from further embarrassment and because I don't have anything more in mind to add (stupid writer's block!), I'm just gonna wake up Miyama-chan. So Miyama-chan woke up. (sweatdrops)  
Miyama yawned, blinked, and then looked at the sleeping boy beside her. She smiled sweetly, placed her face near his and suddenly screamed "WAKE UP!!! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!"  
"AUGH!" a startled Hisoka screamed as he well... woke up. "You brat!" he shouted as he faced Miyama. "Why'd you do that?!"  
Miyama stuck her tongue at him and made a face. "Beh!"  
"I'm glad you two are awake," said Tatsumi in the usual expressionless manner he has that you'd have to be stupid to actually think that he was glad. "I have something to tell you."  
"What? What? What" asked Miyama as she bounced on the sofa again and again and again...  
Hisoka's reaction? "..." There you go. =)  
"I've just enrolled you two in school. Hisoka's high school and Mi- chan's elementary school are just beside each other so it would be easier for us."  
"School?!" the two (Miyama and Hisoka) exclaimed. "Hey, wait a minute! Why do I have to go to school?!" asked Hisoka.  
"Uncle Hisoka's eyes grow even bigger when he's angry," Miyama mumbled.  
"It would be very suspicious if a sixteen year old boy would not go to school," Tatsumi explained.  
"But what about my job as a shi-"Tsuzuki clamped Hisoka's mouth shut before he could continue what he was shouting and possibly expose what they really were to the innocent (hehe... innocent...) child beside them.  
"That's settled then," Tatsumi concluded. "You two are going to start school tomorrow and that's final."  
"Aww... Dad..." Miayama complained. "I don't wanna go to school."  
"Oh!" Tsuzuki said. "It's almost dinner time already. What would you guys like me to cook for tonight's meal?"  
The three men were silent with dread. Miyama, however had an answer to that question. She looked at 003 maliciously, licked her lips and said, "Fried Owl. I wanna eat fried owl for dinner."  
003, enraged by the idea that Miyama wanted to eat her for dinner, started pecking her furiously. Miyama, not wanting to be pecked by an owl who had a very sharp beak, started running away, screaming. Watari, wanting to stop 003 from hurting the kid and vice-versa ran after the two. Tsuzuki, wanting to stop all this commotion, chased after the three shouting that he wouldn't cook 003 and Miyama-chan and the guys could just eat the special pasta that he was going to cook for them. Unfortunately, this caused an even larger commotion as both Hisoka and Tatsumi stood up and ran after Tsuzuki and stop him from cooking his hideous pasta. Now this author, having a very annoying case of writer's block, will end this chapter like this. =P  
  



	4. First Day of Classes

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei.  
  
Daddy Shinigami!!!  
  
So evening passed and morning came, now it's the first day. After breakfast, Miyama and Hisoka were unfortunately trapped in the living room by two very proud old (read: old!) men named Tsuzuki and Watari who seemed more excited about the first day of school than our students.  
"Wai! Mi-chan looks so cute in a school uniform!" Watari squealed, while combing the girl's hair. Miyama by the way, was trying as hard as she could to escape this terror called the "comb", but she was unfortunately being held by the hair by Watari.  
Tsuzuki was elbowing Hisoka and smiling slyly. "Tell me if you need help with some cute girls in your school," he said.  
"Shut up!" Hisoka answered, blushing. We all know he has nothing for girls (Tsubaki-hime my $$!!!) whatsoever and that he really likes guys (i.e. Tsuzuki). Hahahaha!!!  
Watari finally let go of Miyama. Miyama ran towards the mirror, studied herself and then pouted. "Uncle Yu, you put a pink ribbon on me!" she yelled. She started to pull the ribbon off her hair.  
"Miyama-chan! Don't do that!" Watari warned. Too late, the ribbon was already dropped on the floor. "Oh well," Watari said with a smile. "I guess I'll have to put the ribbon back again." He grabbed Miyama-chan by the hair and pulled her back to his lap.  
"No!" Miyama, struggled to get away. "I don't want a pink ribbon on my hair, it's not me! It's an obstruction to my identity! Pink ribbons just aren't me! I want my red ballcap back!" she screamed.  
Watari had an idea on how to stop Miyama's struggle. When you can't get a kid to shut up by decent methods, and you can't hit her because her father is your boss, there's only one thing to do. Bribe her. "If you sit still and let me put a ribbon on your hair I'll give you a lollipop," Watari said.  
That got Miyama to stay put long enough for Watari to fix her hair. When it was done, Watari took a strawberry-flavored lollipop from his lab coat pocket (God knows how long that candy's been there...) and handed it to Miyama.  
"Wai!" yelled Miyama as she ripped off the candy's wrapper. "I get Uncle Yu's lollipop!"  
"YUTAKA!!!" screamed an enraged father. Tatsumi marched out of his office room and glared at Watari.  
"Seiichirou, I can explain..." said Watari, staring at fear of the secretary's enraged/jealous/about-to-breath-fire face just millimeters away from his.  
Tatsumi faced Miyama. "Mi-chan," he said. "Go pester Kuro- I mean, Uncle Hisoka for a while, okay?"  
"Why?" asked Miyama, her innocent eyes growing wide as saucers.  
"Because Uncle Yu and I are going to talk about adult stuff," Tatsumi explained in his usual professional way.  
"Why can't I hear what you two are going to talk about?" she asked.  
"Because you're not yet an adult."  
"If I'm an adult, will I be allowed to hear what you guys are going to talk about?"  
"Yes, Mi-chan..." said Tatsumi, secretly surprised that a child could actually push him off the brink of his patience.  
"But what if I don't want to be an adult?" Miyama asked in a sweeter tone of voice.  
"Then I guess you'll never know..." said Tatsumi, his veins about to pop from exasperation.  
"But I want to know... Why can't I know? What is it that you two are going to talk about? Why are the veins all over your body look like they're going to pop? Why is the sky blue? How come it turns black at night? What is the square root of 56745343423? Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Why'd they have to go make things so complicated?" Miyama assaulted Tatsumi with a barrage of questions enough to knock any sane person over the edge.  
"Miyama Tatsumi! Go pester your Uncle Hisoka, NOW!!!" Tatsumi ordered, his eyes about to pop out of his head. ( I don't know about you guys, but some parents have the tendency to call their kids by their full names when they're angry. Hehehe... my classmate's mother's like that. I'm lucky mine's not, my real name sucks.)  
"But I don't wanna..." Miyama whined.  
Tatsumi stopped to think for a while, then, sighing deeply, gave Miyama a crisp bill. (I mean a money bill, okay, paper money. I have no idea on Yen denominations! Bwahaha!) "Take this and leave," he said, although we could hear from his voice that he definitely didn't want to let go of the money.  
"Yey! Money!" Miyama snatched the bill from Tatsumi's hand and ran towards Hisoka. "Hey! Uncle Hisoka!"  
"AGH! Don't come near me!"  
"Nyahaha! Uncle Hisoka!"  
Okay, now that Miyama's out of the way, I guess it's safe for Tatsumi and Watari to talk about this... err... Watari's lollipop.  
Tatsumi grabbed Watari by the collar of his coat. "What's this about my daughter having your lollipop, Watari?!" he hissed.  
"Come on, Tatsumi..." Watari pleaded. "I'm not that crazy to give something like that to a minor, especially to Miyama. It's not Mr. Lollipop..."  
"Not Mr. Lollipop?" asked Tatsumi in an unusually submissive tone of voice.  
Watari patted Tatsumi at the back and smiled. "No, Sei-chan, not Mr. Lollipop. He's only for you." He laughed and added, "You shouldn't be jealous of your own daughter, you know?"  
Tatsumi regained his usual ice-cold composure. "Ehem... I wasn't jealous," he said. "I was only worried for Miyama's welfare. How long has that lollipop been in your pocket anyway?"  
Watari scratched his head. "I don't really remember..." he said. "But I'm sure it was more than one week..." He shrugged. "Anyway, we'll find out if it's bad for Miyama when she gets sick, right?"  
Speaking of Miyama, look, flying Miyama! Miyama was kicked away by Hisoka (bad Hisoka... bad dog...) and was sent soaring towards Tatsumi's direction. "DADDY!" she screamed as she wrapped her arms around the man's neck. "Daddy, Uncle Hisoka and I are ready to go to school now," she announced. "Can we go now? Puh-leese!"  
And guess what happened next? The author had another writer's block! Yes! So... yeah, let's move on to the school part, okay? Damn, I suck! (cries in shame) NYAHAHAHA! And I'm insane too!  
  
  
  
Okay, the first day of school is really important to a kid, right? But there are a lot of worthless things that happens during school hours that's why I'm just gonna give you guys some cut scenes on Hisoka and Miyama's day. Hehehe... yes, I am lazy...  
  
Introductions! Miyama version  
  
Miyama peered through the door to see a lot of weird kids sitting on their desks and staring mindlessly at the teacher who was making a brief introduction on the new student. The teacher then made a gesture for Miyama to come in and introduce herself.  
Miyama shyly went in the room and blushed as dozens of eyes were staring at her. "Go ahead, Miyama," said the teacher. "Introduce yourself."  
  
Miyama put on a small smile and started to introduce herself. "My name is Miyama Tatsumi. I live with my father and three uncles. It's nice to meet you all." she said with a polite bow.  
"Hi Miyama!" her classmates greeted in unison.  
"What a bunch of mindless jerks..." Miyama thought, staring at her classmates, who were all wearing bright and toothy grins. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes and grinned back at them.  
The teacher stood up and smiled. "Welcome to the class, Miyama. Take a seat beside Aiko..." she said, pointing to the desk beside a perky, blonde, pig-tailed girl who is obviously Aiko. "... and we'll start your first class here."  
Miyama stared at her new seatmate in horror, took a deep breath and sat down. A few minutes later, classes formally started with the teacher telling the kids a story about a rabbit and a panda who met at the bar. Aiko was also busy telling stories of her own to Miyama, about her trip to Paris and how she's so great and all. Poor Miyama just let the conversation pass in one ear and out the other, as she stared at the window waiting (actually, she was silently praying to all the angels and the saints) for classes to end.  
  
Hisoka version  
  
There was such a big commotion in Section B Year 1 of Named-After- Someone-who-Already-stopped-Living High School (or NASAL High School for short), because there is going to be a new student. The guys were all praying to the heavens above that they would get a new sultry, seductive and cute female classmate. (Well, their wishes will be granted except for the female part...) The girls were fixing their hair and acting on their "best" behavior in hopes that the new student would be a stunning young man. (Stunning... check! Young... check! Man... err... physically... check!)  
Tantanan-tanan! Enter Hisoka! And all hell breaks loose! The guys start swearing at their stupid luck of getting a male classmate... some are cursing their stupid luck for being attracted to this new male classmate. And the girls, oh, the girls! They were screaming like bloody hell! Most of them were already making plans for a fans club for their still unnamed but definitely yummy classmate.  
There was so much noise that they probably didn't hear Hisoka introduce himself (which only consisted of the words Hisoka Kurosaki and mumbled a complaint about all the noise) before he sat down. That was how Hisoka introduced himself to Section 1-B of NASAL High.  
  
TBC 


	5. Forgotten? I hope not

Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei.  
  
Daddy Shinigami!!!  
  
Lunchtime!!!  
  
"Over here, Mi-chan!" Aiko called out to her new "best friend". "Let's eat lunch toegether, okay?"  
"I don't want to!" Mi-chan screamed. "I'd rather eat worms than eat with you, Aiko!" With that comment, Aiko burst into tears.  
"Why?!" she whimpered.  
"Because I... I..." Miyama satarted to feel sorry for Aiko. "Alright, I'll eat lunch with you today..." She sat down beside Aiko and prepared herself for more mindless torture. She opened her bag and found not just one paperbag with Tsuzuki's culinary concoctions in it but two!  
"Hey!" Aiko said. "You have two lunches!"  
"Uncle Asato might have placed Uncle Hisoka's lunch in my bag by mistake," Miyama said. As for her idea of her Uncle Asato being stupid for mistaking her pink bunny backpack for Hisoka's ratty green backpack, she kept it to herself. Seeing this as a golden opportunity to leave Aiko, she stood up and said "I must deliver this to Uncle Hisoka or he'll get hungry!"  
"Uncle Hisoka?" Aiko asked. "Why? Where is your Uncle Hisoka?"  
"See that fence over there?" Miyama pointed to the wire fence that seperated the Blue Seraph's Elementary School from NASAL High School. "That's where my Uncle Hisoka studies." She slung her backpack over her shoulder and started climbing the fence.  
"Mi-chan, that's dangerous!" Aiko said. "You might hurt yourself and besides..."  
Before Aiko was able to finish talking Miyama was already on the other side of the fence. She waved at Aiko. Aiko on the other hand, looked like she was about to cry again. Miyama couldn't stand seeing Aiko cry (it's so annoying) that she gulped and again took another suicidal leap into mindless Aiko torture. "Ne, Ai-chan!" she said. "Let's have lunch some other day, okay?"  
"Okay!" said Aiko, who was happy again.  
Mi-chan sighed and started to search for her Uncle Hisoka.  
  
Hisoka was standing in front of his classroom door, silently complaining about all the ruckus in the room just because he was the new boy. Damn, he knew that he was pretty, oh God was he pretty! But he isn't a young kid anymore, he'd be about twenty if he was still alive. So why did he have to go to highschool?  
Just then he felt a tug on his shirt. It was Miyama, holding a brown paper bag which contained the lunch Hisoka dreaded to see, and most of all, taste. "What are you doing here?" Hisoka asked.  
"Stupid Uncle Asato placed your lunch on my bag," she frowned and handed Hisoka the papaer bag. "Here, you can have it back."  
Hisoka chuckled when he heard Miyama call Tsuzuki stupid. He then returned to his usual cold demeanor and said, "No thanks, I'd rather go hungry than eat that."  
"But what am I going to do with this?" Miyama asked.  
"You can eat it." Hisoka said sarcastically.  
"But I don't want to eat it, it tastes horrible and it will make me sick! Oh hell, maybe I should buy food instead." She took her wallet from her backpack and looked at it's contents. There was nothing, only a few loose change. "Hey, Uncle Hisoka, do you have any extra money?" she asked.  
"No," said Hisoka plainly. Tatsumi isn't the most generous person in the world and besides, Hisoka's hobby is saving money, not wasting it on food like Tsuzuki does.  
"HISOKA-KUN!!!!"  
Hisoka gulped and faced the direction of the scream in dreadfully slow manner. Miyama hid behind Hisoka's back and peered at the new characters in our setting. There were three girls smiling in a happy bubbly manner at Hisoka.  
"Uncle Hisoka, who are they?" Miyama asked, still clinging to the tail of Hisoka's uniform top.  
"I don't know, Mi-chan, but they've been on my tail since first period..." Hisoka said. He bent down and added in a lower tone "I've been trying to avoid them all morning."  
"You were avoiding them by hanging around outside your classroom's door?!" Miyama whispered back.  
"Hello, Hisoka-kun!" the first girl said. "Care to join us for lunch? I cooked my famous ebi tempura today!" She batted her eyelashes and smiled. Then she saw Miyama who looked so innocent in the way she was hiding behind her uncle's back. "Oh, how cute!" the girl screamed as she walked closer to pinch Miyama's cheeks. The two other girls nodded in agreement. "Is she your sister, Hisoka-kun?" she asked, as her hands ran across the soft dark curls of Miyama's hair.  
"I... I'm his neice," Miyama said shyly. She smiled sweetly and bowed ever so politely. "I'm Miyama Tatsumi, it's nice to meet you, miss."  
Hisoka stared at his niece, wondering if she was just hungry and delirious or if she was already possesed by evil spirits. The girl, on the other hand, was absolutely charmed by Miyama. "Oh, what a darling child you are!" she cooed. "I'm Tia," she said. She then pointed to the two girls behind her. "And these are my two friends, Ria and Gia."  
"It's nice to meet you, Miss Ria, Miss Gia." said Miyama. She curtsied and smiled sweetly, without any trace of malice, to her Uncle Hisoka. "You have really beautiful classmates, Uncle Hisoka," she said, her tone oozing with honey sweetness. Hisoka was now absolutely convinced that his neice was possesed by an extremely evil spirit.  
"Oh, by the way, Hisoka-kun," Tia said, facing her new found love with a rosy blush on her cheeks. "We wouldn't mind if you bring Miyama-chan with you as we eat lunch. She is such a sweet child."  
Ria and Gia nodded and said "Yes, such a sweet little child!" in perfect unison.  
Hisoka shook his head. "No, thanks. I don't want to eat with you guys." he said. "I'd rather sleep with a thousand rabid bunnies."  
"What did you say Hisoka-kun?" Tia asked, not getting the last part of Hisoka's refusal. Miyama gave her uncle a death glare.  
"I mean... I need to study, I still need to catch up with the lessons," said Hisoka, intimidated from his neice's girl-from-hell stare.  
"Good luck with your lessons Uncle Hisoka!" Miyama cheered. "Uncle Hisoka's such a hard worker," she said to Tia.  
Tia was disappointed by the fact that her darling blonde prince (I am going to spew) won't be joining her for lunch. But then she had an idea. If she were to get closer to Miyama and show Hisoka how good she is with children, maybe he'd fall in love with her. (Now we all know that's not gonna happen... never in a million years.)  
"Maybe next time then, Hisoka-kun," Tia said, "How about you, Miyama- chan? Want to eat lunch with us?"  
Miyama nodded and smiled sweetly. She was then taken away by the group of girls to the rooftop, where they were to eat their lunch.  
Hisoka watched her and, thankful as he was for having those girls stop stalking him, he couldn't help but get annoyed at Miyama for having an excuse to get rid off Tsuzuki's lunch.  
  
  
  
It was five o'clock in the afternoon and Hisoka was really relieved that school was over. He put on his shoes and went outside, only to be greeted by a small forlorn figure crying under the shade of one of the the trees on the school's pathway.  
"Mi-chan?" he called as he sat beside her. "Why are you still here?"  
Miyama wiped her eyes with her sleeved and sobbed, "Uncle... sniff uncle Asa... sato forgot to pick me up!"  
Hisoka also noticed that her hair was a mess and that she had a small gash on her leg. "What happened while you were waiting for Uncle Asato?"  
"I... I played soccer with the elementary varsity... they were really nice Uncle Hisoka, please don't get mad at them."  
"Don't you think Asato might have thought that you were gone during the time you were playing soccer? Maybe you missed him."  
"But... but... I left a message to the school gaurd to tell Uncle Asato where I was... when I came back from soccer the gaurd told me that no one came for me!" Miyama bawled. "Uncle Asato didn't even come!"  
Hisoka wiped her eyes with his handkerchief motioned for her to stand up. "Come on, Mi-chan, let's go home."  
Miyama looked at her Uncle Hisoka with admiration in her eyes and stood up. They then started to go on their way home.  
"Tsuzuki's going to get it once we get home," Hisoka thought, annoyed at Tsuzuki's lack of responsibility.  
  
"Hey guys, welcome home!" Tsuzuki greeted with a smile as he opened the door. Then he saw Miyama crying and Hisoka obviously furious. "What's wrong?" he asked. "Did you meet some bullies on your way home?"  
"BAKA!" Hisoka screamed as he slapped Tsuzuki. "You forgot to pick Miyama up from school!" Miyama started to cry harder.  
"Was I supposed to do that?" Tsuzuki asked innocently as he massaged his throbbing cheek.  
"Yes, you were, idiot! Didn't you read the list of responsibilities we left with you?!" Hisoka shouted as he glared at Tsuzuki.  
"I... err..." Tsuzuki stuttered. "I sort of misplaced the list and I... sort of forgot to pick up Mi-chan. I'm sorry..."  
"SORRY!" Hisoka screamed. "Do you know how lonely it is for a child to wait for someone, and then find out that no one's coming in the end?! Do you?!" Hisoka's own eyes were cornered by unfallen tears as he said this.  
"Uncle Hisoka, stop it!" Miyama cried as she wrapped her arms around Tsuzuki. "Please don't get mad at Uncle Tsuzuki! I don't want to see your fight!"  
Hisoka dropped to the floor and cried with his hands covering his face. Miyama jumped off from Tsuzuki and hugged her Uncle Hisoka. "Uncle Hisoka, stop crying," she whispered. "Everything's okay now, Uncle Hisoka. I'm okay now, and besides, I wanted to stay longer to play soccer. So please Uncle Hisoka..." Tsuzuki kneeled down and wrapped his arms around the two.  
Awww... this is getting too touching for my guts to handle, I can't believe I wrote this. So, let's cut the crap and put somebody else in the scene. The front door opens and who do we see? Why it's no other than Yutaka Watari! (Hey, cool! It rhymed!) "Hello!" he greeted with his standard smile. "How are you guys doing?"  
Miyama skipped towards her eldest uncle and smiled back. "Ne, ne, Uncle Yu... I played soccer today!"  
"Really?!" Watari plopped onto the sofa and motioned for Miyama to sit next to him. "What happened? Was it a lot of fun?"  
Miyama nodded. She sat next to her Uncle Yu and started to talk all about how she got to score a goal from the half line and how the team wants her now. Meanwhile, Tsuzuki was still taking his time on hugging poor, emotionally-damaged Hisoka... until...  
SLAP!  
Until he was slapped by Hisoka, who had just realized what they were doing. "What the hell were you doing to me, idiot?!" he said, blushing beet red.  
"Owww..." Tsuzuki said as he rubbed throbbing cheek. "You were sad and crying so I..."  
"I don't need your help!" Hisoka said as he pouted and stomped off to his room, leaving Tsuzuki with a knowing smile on his face.  
  
When he got home, Tatsumi was surprised to see how "family-like" his "family" had become. Hisoka was cooking dinner instead of Tsuzuki, who was pouting at Hisoka like a sick puppy. Watari and Miyama was having a drawing contest: Miyama's winning, of course. They all seemed to fit together like a jigsaw puzzle. The only piece missing was...  
"Daddy's home!" Miyama announced.  
"Yo, Seiichirou!" Watari said as he waved at the newcomer.  
"Seiichirou..." Tsuzuki whined as he pointed at Hisoka who was wearing a mischievous grin.  
The only piece missing was him, and now the little family's complete.  
  
TBC  
  
Author's Note: Awww... Wasn't that sweet? I think I'm going to barf. I don't normally write like this. I think being a post-humous child has turned this story into this sappy shit... You see, my father died before I was born. All together now: Aw! Now shut up 'coz I don't need your pity. Anyway, I can't wait 'til I get Dr. Muraki in the story. Oh joy! That would be fun! 


End file.
